April Showers

I almost cannot believe that we are mere days away from April.
Now that I have returned to the academic world, April is almost threatening. April means papers and presentations. This year, April means finding an internship for summer. And with my job, April means housing assignments for the fall semester, and beginning to break in new RAs, and making sure that fun things happen in the residence hall for the last month of school. 
It's easy in this moment to look at April and be overwhelmed. The lists are long, the calendar days are full. Days may come when it feels like the rain of busyness is too much, the showers are too heavy, and it would be easier to just give up and float away.
But I refuse. Instead, I will dance in the rain. 

Top Ten Tuesday: Fitness Fads

Top Ten Health & Fitness Fads I Am Totally On Board With
10. Almond milk. It is delicious and doesn't expire as quickly, so I don't waste it.
9. Yoga. Because I love it. See previous posts!
8. Meatless Mondays. Because, let's face it, I can't afford meat every day.
7. Green tea, herbal tea, cleanse tea...all of it, because it is delicious and it's partially water, which is good for you.
6. Color Runs and charity runs. 
5. Getting enough sleep. COME ON EVERYONE.
4. Training for a half marathon that I have not yet committed to in writing or money.
3. Snacking throughout the day (rather than eating large meals).
2. Second Dinner, aka cereal before bed. (Ok, I made this one up. I'm hoping it catches on.)
1. Making smart choices and taking care of myself because it makes me feel better, and because doing so is honoring to God and being faithful with the gifts He has given - my body, energy, and life.

Blog Rewind: Accidental Harmony

Happy Saturday to everyone!
Welcome to my first Blog Rewind post! I kept a steady blog through my first few years of college. And then deleted it. But lucky for us all, I printed it all out first. So every now and then, I'm going to repost some of my old writing, and see how things have changed - my thoughts, my convictions, myself - since then.
Fall, 2009
"Excerpt from my journal: ...such is life. It's beautiful. Sometimes the harmony falls into discord. But God is the composer and the conductor and the musician. He creates, He conducts, and He plays. We get to be the instruments and the music, glorifying Him with our existence."
Spring, 2014
I remember writing this and thinking on it for quite a while, and thinking that I understood and believed in my own words. And I'm sure that I did, on a deep level. But now, as years have passed and I've felt the harmony fall into discord and swell back into pitch and back over and over and over, I feel like I have a better grasp. When I wrote this 5 years ago, I think I was focusing on the prominence of discord in myself. Now, through things that have happened and the growth I have experienced in Jesus, I believe I know what the harmony can be. Before, the harmony was an elusive hope for the future. And now, though life is far from perfect and I have so much growing to do, I feel like I'm existing in that harmony. And I am thankful.

Top Ten Tuesday: Talents

Top Ten Talents I Would Consider if I Competed in a Pageant
10. Label-making
9. Mod-Podge-ing
8. Yoga (to music aka interpretive dance)
7. Taking BuzzFeed quizzes
6. Making chicken and dumplings
5. Drinking large quantities of tea
4. Sidewalk-chalking
3. Getting the gas pump to stop on a whole dollar amount (I am actually really, really good at this.)
2. TV/Movie-quoting
1. List-making

Reside: Yoga

Namaste.
I have an obsession and I just have to tell you about it.
Back in December, I entered a time that I am now able to see as the dark before the dawn. I've always been a generally anxious person, but it had never kept me from functioning. One morning in December, I had a panic attack in the shower that left me edgy and tearful for the rest of the day. The next day, one happened while I was driving. And the next day, I didn't get out of my bed. I had never felt so anxious or so depressed, and the most baffling part was that there was no real reason. Because of that, and because of awesome people who love and look out for me, I sought medical treatment for my anxiety for the first time.
The rest of December and the first bit of January was about adjusting to the treatments and learning how to manage my anxiety. I came back to begin the new semester hopeful and prepared to make some big changes. And I have. For the first time in my life, I have made goals and changes and stuck to them. I have made changes in my habits to make sure that I sleep well. I have consistently spent time in the Bible, and I am working on embracing silence and solitude. I find ways to be open about my struggles. And, I do yoga.
I tried yoga in the fall of 2012, stuck with it for a bit, and then got bored. I tried to be a runner, but I would get frustrated by the lack of tangible progress. So at the end of January, I pulled out my old mat and found some yoga class videos online, and, well, the rest is history. 
I am writing this on March 1st to celebrate the fact that I practiced yoga every day in February, whether in a group class or alone in my house. I have progressed to be able to complete some intermediate classes, as opposed to beginner. And I see progress - I can now do a REAL push-up, a side plank, AND crow pose!

I promise I'm balanced here and not just seconds away from falling on my face!

I feel like I have found my fitness calling. I feel stronger and more flexible, and best of all, more relaxed, calm, and at peace than I ever have. I know that that all comes from God and not yoga, but I believe He led me to an activity that would help along the journey.

I know I will go through more periods of dark before the dawn. But what I have learned through this time of light is how to better seek light in the darkness when it comes. Rest, read, pray. Stretch, balance. And breathe.