I've been attending church at Grandview Christian since springtime. I've enjoyed a lot of things about it, but one element of the services that I really enjoy is the time of prayer. A different person leads with a different prayer, but it always concludes with the congregation joining together in the Lord's Prayer.
I've had this prayer memorized since my elementary school days in Bible Drill, maybe even before. But it's never played such a prominent roll in any other church I've attended. I am thankful for this weekly emphasis for many reasons: the reminder of how we have been taught to pray, the participation in communal prayer, and how each individual phrase hits me.
The phrase that's been hitting me hardest lately? "Give us this day our daily bread."
Life is busy right now. Classes, internship, work, relationships - it's slightly overwhelming at times, especially when I try to lay it all out on paper. On some days there don't seem to be enough hours, and on the days when there are enough hours, I am tempted to fill the extra with naps. I am learning how bad I am at mornings. I preach self-care and then feel guilty for engaging in it. I worry about money and what I will do after I graduate - not to mention all of the things I have to accomplish before then. Then there's general anxieties of life and beating myself up for mistakes and then I'll eat too much and sleep too much and exercise too little. On and on.
But on Sunday morning, we all pray for our daily bread. This day. And it makes me wonder if we are missing the point.
I am a planner and an organizer and I always have been. Grad school has made me less perfectionistic, but I still like to stay on top of things and plan ahead. And I think that's ok, but I think the point I often miss is the importance of today.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
I don't recall a day in my life that I have gone hungry. I know God is faithful in the literal bread. But maybe daily bread is more - maybe it is the work and play and rest He sets before us for the day, and as we ask Him for it, we are also committing to taking care of what He gives.
The phrasing also makes me feel like asking for forgiveness and doing some forgiving ourselves is also a daily thing. And if Jesus taught us to pray that way, He had to know we'd be messing up a lot.
So maybe the prayer should be a daily thing, where we ask for our daily bread, forgiveness for our daily failures, and forgive others of theirs. Maybe it's really about day by day.
This is comforting and challenging at this point in life. I want to see the future and maybe even fast-forward a bit, or slow time down if I'm trying to get something done. But this prayer is teaching me to accept what God dishes out each morning and know that it is enough - and that, in Him, I am enough as well.
